"The cliché is that dead people look like they’re sleeping. They don’t. That’s a lie. Sleeping people vibrate despite themselves, with the ever-present promise of reanimation. Their vulnerability is tender, and fills you with the need to keep them safe. The dead just look exactly that. And they don’t make you want to protect them. They make you want to take them out like trash. Bury them. Or burn them-anything to return to the earth, to get them out of your sight-because until you do it’s that much less possible to remember they were ever alive."
so i just have to say that i am sorry. i didn’t know things were going this way. i’m an oblivious girl who has to have things spelled out to her. and you did that, you put yourself out there. i just hope that things can go back to normal, like they use to be. i am probably making a bigger deal out of nothing, but that’s me, i overanalyze every word that is told to me, or that i read. and as you say, shit happens. this is shit, and it happened. i just hope that you can be yourself around me still.
i just found out that shelby might be living in yuma again! this would complete my life because she lived there during the first semester and it would just be so awesome to have the three of us, ricci, shelby, and i just chilling, listening to music, doing homework, and just being awesome with each other. we just need to work on finding a room that can have three people live in it, but i don’t think yuma has a big enough dorm room.
my friend ali is finally visiting arizona after i don’t remember, like countless months of not seeing her. i am so glad that she and i and other peeps have been able to keep in contact, even though we find ourselves living in different states, going to different schools, and leading different lives. so i finally get to have our infamous hippie moments tonight, but it might be a tad bit cold outside…
i am so far loving break. i made a to-do list, and i am actually accomplishing stuff, which is really rare cause i usually make a list and when i am on break, i usually just am uber more lazy and do not do anything. but for some reason, i have the drive to just do what i finally want. and i also love being home, and it’s not like oh i’m home and everything is back to how it use to be. i think that is why i like being home, because things aren’t as they use to be. since i technically “don’t live at home anymore” because once i get a place in tucson, i am most definitely moving to tucson, but anyways, i don’t have to do chores, per say, like i do chores because now i am getting paid to, and i can pretty much do what i want. i go running like all the time now, and i love being home alone. and my parents know that they can’t really change my mind now, like yesterday my mum even told me that “there are some minds that can’t be tempered with” as in she can’t change their minds anymore and i was like me? and she said yeh, you’re doing your own thing now. granted she can tell me not to do something and all, but there is just something different, and i am really glad about that.
other than that, i have like another three weeks left of break, and who knows what other awesome stuff is going to take place. there are ideas in my head, motivation in my soul, and a wonderfulous outlook on it all.
How the future you have tomorrow won't be the same future you had today. History is nothing except monsters or victims. Or witnesses. You grow up to become living proof of your parent's limitations. Their less-than-masterpiece. We all live by different clocks and calendars. But a child who relinquishes the illusions of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, that child may come away with the most important skill set. That child may recognize the strength of his own imagination and faith. He will embrace the ability to create his own reality. That child becomes his own authority. He determines the nature of his world. His own vision. And by doing so, by the power of his example, he determines the reality of the other two types: those who can't imagine, and those who can't trust. Only 7% of our message comes through our words. It pains me, I'll never put eyes on you again. All these fat, middle-aged dumbshits just want something to kill time. Nothing dark and edgy or challenging. Nothing artsy.
"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."